This Soulmate Project is interesting. More communities should launch customized matchmaker programs. I like how this one clarifies its particular Shadhili community and an allegiance to Shaykh Muhammad al-Jamal.
I strongly believe that before engaging in a soulmate search, we should figure out our religious, spiritual socioeconomic, and gender ideological frameworks. You should figure out and explicate your labels, sects, social locations, and so on.
For academics, this is similar to your theoretical framework. You can’t talk about your data without clarifying your perspective. You don’t really know your perspective without knowing what perspectives are out there.
That “I’m just a Muslim” or “I’m just a nice guy who wants to be happy” wastes everybody’s time. Nobody is just a Muslim. Nobody just follows Allah and the Prophet. Everybody has a lens, a preferred path, favorite virtues, deal-breaker vices.
I wasted a lot of time with suitors who were low-key hiding their anti-feminism, anti-Sufism, religious backgrounds, previous relationships, or their future plans.
It’s really important to say who you are so you can find your person. Don’t give someone else a big surprise after signing the marriage contract. What! You won’t travel to Raiwind every other month? You won’t let me travel with my bros every week? We won’t be spending every day with my parents? I can’t go to grad school and ditch my job?
So tell your potential mates who you are. But before you do that, you have to acknowledge to yourself who you are.